Center of Gravity

it’s july, whatever that means

I’ve been sleeping a lot. Like, 9 or 10 hours if I can get it. When I lie down for the night at 8:00PM, the bigass window write above my bed glows bright with residual daylight. I’ve made good use of my sleep mask. It’s like I can’t get enough; I’d rather sleep than almost anything else (exceptions: movies, the occasional meal).
For all my sleeping, I’m still tired. Not exhausted, just kind of washed out, sunbleached. As I write this, I hear my coworkers are in the next room singing Happy Birthday in a discordant monotone, more funeral dirge than celebration. My stomach growls loud enough to hear.

I’m usually in better spirits (or at least less confused ones), but recent events have laid me out in a way that’s unfamiliar and unpleasant but not necessarily unwelcome. I won’t get into specifics, but I’ve “been through it” as they say. That said, I think misery is a good change of pace. I’m thinking I haven’t suffered enough to justify the endless (flavorless) roll of good times 2025 has been thus far.

If it were up to me, I wouldn’t be writing whilst deep in the bargaining phase of recent grief. Unfortunately, I post on a schedule. Here are some movies I watched.

Ichi The Killer (Takashi Miike, 2001)

I saw this whilst fighting a war of attrition against a relentless caffeine high. Fun fact, Vietnamese coffee is made with robusta beans which have twice as much caffeine. Did you know that? I sure didn’t.
I’d craved to see a movie after June’s dry spell. Miike’s Audition was one of my favorite watches of 2024, so I was beyond excited for this one. It did not deliver. Miike was simply doing too much: gore, mafia thriller, murder mystery (??), hangout movie, etc. Maybe it was the coffee, but I just really wanted some direction. The thing is, I’ve seen these types of chaotic signature movies before (see: Tarantino’s Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Araki’s Nowhere) and absolutely loved them. They aren’t made to please; they’re made to express. As for this one, I just didn’t get it. I really wish I did, though. It makes me feel closer to a director when I can just telepathically understand what they’re trying to do.
After I saw it, I tossed and turned in bed for like two hours, kicking myself for not just watching a better movie to chase it. 1.5/5

Wet Hot American Summer (David Wain, 2001)

This was made for me, I think. I kind of hate this summer so it felt really good to experience a perfect, condensed version of it. Watching this was like eating rainbow sherbet on a hot ass day and it’s melting all over your hands and getting on the sidewalk but it’s fine because you can just wash it off in the ocean (you’re at the beach) and you’re with your favorite people and also you have a crush on someone in the group and you know it won’t work out but it’s okay because being there with them is enough and you can laugh it off on the long drive home.
The best thing about this movie is its flawless internal logic. If you meet it where it is, you find a world that’s incredible consistent, reactive, fun as hell, and honestly, really beautiful. I can’t wait to see it again. 4.5/5

28 Days Later (Danny Boyle, 2002)

I was bored for most of this one. Danny Boyle is a maniac behind a camera; I’ll give him that. I just didn’t catch onto the vibe until the third act which, to be fair, is absolutely bonkers and a lot of fun if you can make it through the front half. I didn’t love it, but I appreciate it for being a cornerstone in modern zombie media. Zoe said the main girl was “built like a guitar hero character” and that got a good laugh out of me. Overall, a nice lazy afternoon watch. 3.5/5

frog in the pot

I wish this summer were hotter. Like, really hot. Balmy, scorching, just totally unbearable. I want my car to feel like a convection oven. I want it to be so hot I evaporate.
The weather right now lacks urgency; it feels like indecision. That really pisses me off. Maybe it’s because the tepid weather is a mirror of my own conviction. I’m licking my wounds, but rest feels like sloth.

I’ll keep watching movies, I’m sure I’ll feel better next week. Oh also, posts might be a little shorter and dialed in (like this one) for a while as I sort my business out.

That’s what I’ve got, thanks for hanging.